Sugar Pie’s
Seven Great Teachings
~ The Sixth Great Teaching ~
COMMUNICATION
I already covered a lot about this teaching in the Second Great Teaching about Good Relationships and in some other places, too. Which just goes to show that communication is a pretty important teaching. But here’s a little bit more on that subject anyway.
What Communication Is
Communication is getting some kind of information across to someone else.
To communicate well, you need to do and say anything about what you want the other guy to understand that will make it easy for him to get what you mean.
To do a good job of communicating, you can’t hurt the other guy in any way ‘cause that wouldn’t be like “the really smart stuff” so it wouldn’t work anyway.
EXAMPLE:
If you slug a guy and it hurts, he might figure you don’t like him.
Which may or may not be true. For instance, you might just be mad at him
at that moment even though you actually like him. Or maybe you really,
really hate the guy. Or maybe something super good has just happened to
you and you just slug him merrily in a spirit of exuberance without thinking.
Things can get really messed up between Beings when there is hurt.
Some Other
Important Points
About Communication
(1) There are very effective ways to communicate with other Beings that are appropriate to the situation and don’t cause hurt.
(2) Communications often have an emotional component that comes across to the other Being (cat, dog, person, etc.), sometimes without even the use of words or actions.
(3) If the emotional component is consistent with the situation and is in “real time” this kind of communication is usually very effective.
Communications My Mom and I Had
Kinds of communications that meant
something wasn’t good for me to do:
Hissing, showing fear, pawing at me when I was just being ornery, removing
the object, or distracting me. And BV used to spray water from a spray
bottle if she was doing something important and I was trying to get her
attention by getting into a no-no (that was really fun).
“Good job, Sugar!”
Mom would say this whenever I did anything really good, which was most
of the time. (She said that a lot.)
“Good boy, Sugar!”
Well, I think that’s obvious.
“Up, Sugar”
This meant to leap up on my high kitchen stool. I loved that thing, it
made me almost as tall as her.
“Stay”
This meant to stay where I was when she said it. I was pretty good at
that.
“Sit”
“Sit” meant to hunker down where I was. That was pretty easy
because she usually had me do that in places where I wanted to stay hunkered
down anyway.
“Jump”
We had this game where she would hold out her hand, wiggle her fingers,
and say “Jump, Sugar, jump,” and I would jump way up high
toward her and she’d catch me in her arms. I oughta put this in
the Trust section of this book, because if she hadn’t caught me
I would’ve landed on my bums big time.
“Medicine”
I didn’t do much medicine but we kinda got into this eyedropper
thing as a result of some homeopathics I had to take once. I got really
good at lapping the drops as they fell from the dropper without the dropper
ever touching my mouth. She thought that was really cool. That’s
where “Good job, Sugar!” got started.
“Wanna Go?”
That meant a ride in the truck or the car!
“Spice”
Spice is BV’s cat, my adopted sister. I love her and BV a lot!
“Yum-yum”
I should have put this word first ‘cause it’s one of my favorites.
This signaled special eating times for Spice and me, and that was always
fun.
“Outside”
“Outside” is our screen porch. Spice and I used to have our
morning meals out there with Mom.
“Z-z-z-z-z, Z-z-z-z-z”
This was a toothy whistle Mom used that meant that I was invited to come
with her.
“Sssssssst”
Mom hissed like a mother cat when I’d gotten into something I wasn’t
supposed to get into, or went somewhere I wasn’t supposed to go
(like jumping up on a kitchen counter. That was a real no-no. I really
didn’t do that very often. Honest.)
Double Pulls on the Leash
This meant “don’t go there” or “don’t go
that way” like when we were in PetCo or Petsmart or some other pet
market and I was trippin’ out on some cubby hole or other. If I
was really intent on something and didn’t respond to this signal
she might also say (very gently), “No, Sugar, no” or “Z-z-z-z-z,
Z-z-z-z-z.“
Klingon Kisses
I used to give Mom “Klingon Kisses.” That’s what she
called them anyway. Because I didn’t know how to smooch, I learned
how to give soft nips (‘cause my teeth were so sharp, you know).
Eye Contact
Eye contact was a means of mutually sharing and showing our loving feelings
for each other. Sometimes we’d stare like that with soft eyes for
a long long time. (I used to purr a LOT.)
“Sugar Pie, go home”
This meant to go down stairs for bedtime, or if I’d gotten out the
door, it meant to go back in the house.
“Nitey-nite, Sugar Pie”
She used to say this to me with lots of love in her voice and in her feelings
when I went to bed.
The last two (“Sugar Pie, go home” and “Nitey-nite, Sugar Pie”) made Mom cry when she was writing them.
See, when I left my body I was in a hospital (all this was completely unexpected and Mom was so shocked and she cried awfully hard), she leaned over me on the surgery table and stroked my body and said, “Nitey-nite, Sugar Pie, go home,” over and over. So I went home.
The next day, I hopped up on her bed where she was lying down and crying (she was really upset) and she saw me! I was really pleased about that, so I figured if she could see me, I’d introduce her to this buddy of mine I used to know who was also on the other side when I got there. So I sent him along to see her. And she saw him, too!
So you really don’t have to cry any more, Mom. I’m really OK, and my buddy and I are having a great time together. I had a happy life chock full of love and joy with you.
And I’ll be around anyway, and visit you from time to time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Go to the next chapter |
The
Seventh Great Teaching |
|
[ Close this window
to return to the previous page. ] |
Copyright ©2003 First published May 1, 2003, Lauretta Graham, Durga Ma. All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including the use of information storage and retrieval systems without permission in writing from Lauretta Graham, AKA Durga Ma.